Give The Stars My Name

This is when I break.

Can't you see that I need you more then ever now?

Hiding With Your Eyes Shut Tightly All The Way To The Hospital.

I am the patient. 

Will you lead me?

I need as much as possible to do this week. Many hugs, laughs, and most importantly friends. 

"Have you heard the news that you're dead?"

Not yet. I'm terrified, but Im going to go down swinging. 

"Get me the hell out of here. To young to die, and my dear. And if you can hear my just walk away and..."

Please don't walk away. I might push EVERYONE away right now, but its really because I need you the most, and I don't know how to deal with it...

"Oh take me from the hospital bed."

Don't Say You're Done For.

Me: How are you today?
You: I'm good. I'm alive.

I was so amazed and shocked when I heard you say that this morning. It really made me stop and think. It is so true, you're alive, no matter how hard your life is, you're alive. You have every possible chance to change things, and make things go better. You only live for yourself. Take chances, fall in love, let yourself be heard.

Things just seem to be so positive lately. Its been hard to look at things negatively. This is good. I've been waiting to feel like this for a very long time.

Althought things are going great, I do feel as if there are only a couple of people I can talk to and not get annoyed, I will be forever greatful to CM, SH, ML, NR, MC, AT, FK. Thanks for putting up with me and all my weird moods. I truly love you guys.

Very Much Alive. (I Wish)

Hopeless - Feeling or causing despair about something.

Failure - The omission of expected or required action.

Im looking for anything, anyone.

I've lost way too much hope in everything lately, I don't know what to believe in. 

What I really need, is someone to take my hand and lead me through this. I would have completely blind faith in this person.

I used to know who I was, and where I was going in life, but currently I just feel like Im slipping through the cracks. Invisible. 

It's always during these times that I push the ones I need most away. I just need a firm hand to reel me back in. 

"I've already given up on myself two times, third times a charm."

What I really need, is another time like friday. S.H and M.L helped so much. I told them my secret and I trust them 100% with it. It was an amazing night, and I hope to do it again. Soon! <3

We'll Make Them So Jealous, We'll Make Them Hate Us.

Please?

I really think I can make this work. Not often do I let people in this easily for fear that they would hurt me, and you did more then that. You crushed me, you made me question myself, you made me realize my beauty, you've made me cry, want to scream, but mostly, you've made me love myself even more. You have just opened my eyes to so many things, and Im so thankful for that. Its funny how a stranger can become someone so close, someone you couldn't believe you used to live without. 

I wish that you and I could take the final step together. 

I'm sorry that she is hurting you. You can't say that we ALL didn't warn you though. 

But I promised no matter what I would be there for you.

It Ends Tonight.

So, its been a while.

I've been feeling so closed off to everyone right now. 

I'm sorry.

But you are the one who did this to me.

Will You Be Mine, Valentine?

-And you just might be the most amazing person who has walked into my life. Thank you for seeing me at my worst and not walking away. I haven't known you that long, but you have already taught me so much. I can't wait to see you more.

-You are so amazing, and so beautiful, you only deserve the best. Thats the honest truth. You showed me that it is okay to express myself. I can't wait to marry you. Hehe.

-I'm not sure if I will ever completely trust you again. Even if it wasn't your fault.

-I'm sorry I haven't been there for you lately, it's just so hard putting up with you, and your relationship when I know you deserve so much better.

-You deserve SO much better then him. Don't let him put you on a guilt trip. You did nothing wrong. You did the right thing by sticking up for your beliefes.

-Thank you for keeping me sane when it comes to this certain boy! I know I can trust what you say!

-I'm so glad we finally talked! I can't believe I was missing out on such an amazing friend for so long. Twin :D

Things are falling into place. And it feels good.