If You Want To Go Down In History.

I just need to breathe.

The problem was I was I didn't give up on you,

while you were giving up on me.

You're a bitter waging war and i'm neutral country.

Couldn't give a fuck or a fuck less anymore.

Just wanting to exi(s)t.

The phone ringing lulls me to sleep.

Tetters with the ink still wet slap me in the face and leave numbers that don't add up.

Your back isn't turned but the page has.

We're behind on living.

Should take the comfort I can in the fact you can't replace me,

but that doesn't keep my bed warm at night.

Your boring smile became necessary.

Taking back everything i said to him just to have a part still with me.

Staplegunned to my side not like a romantic but more like a parasite.

He's putting the over in lover.

And "un" back in loveable.

The purples blues and reds are all black with the sheets pulled over your head.

Gonna pick up a habit to replace you.

One after another.

Still need a fix.

But its okay, I think I found one. A good fix. A permanent one.

This wasn't as hard as I thought it would be. Maybe since it was such a heartless decision, it wasn't able to break my heart. "Drugs or me?" I guess I don't compare to weed.

There are so many questions I feel like I have to ask myself, but Im too scared to give myself the answers, I need someone else to answer for me. To point me in the right direction. My mind also feels very cluttered, yet again I can't get anything out into words. I came on here to write a very specific entry, and I forgot what it was about, so now Im just rambling like a crazy person.

I'm glad today that I opened my eyes and realized everything. Its true, I do only deserve the best. And you are the best for me. I've never felt more loved, beautiful and respected in my whole life. I hope this one sticks around for a bit.

I hope its a good roller coaster ride.

Ex's and Oh's