Bite your lip.Stop. Just stop. It's wrong. But it feels too damn good. Remember the hurt, remember the pain, remember how everything went wrong. It won't stop, the memories I mean. I've tried, tried to rid this from my mind. Go away, go away, I don't want to remember the old days. Addiction, I can't quit it. No trust, no trust in you, I just desperately try to believe in you.
I miss Band :45 a lot, I can't wait until we are reunited.
I miss being called Little Red.
I miss "She Will Be Loved".
I miss secret notes we would get in trouble for.
I miss late night talks.
I miss watching a room full of men crying watching Titanic.
I miss not wearing any make up at all and still feeling beautiful.
Sometimes I wonder if I was better off stuck in there. It was a party every day, filled with people who shared the same beliefe as me, against drugs, against drinking.
I am happy though that all my problems were fixed in there. I will always struggle with one for my whole life, but I know I'm strong enough to resist the temptation. I have to be.
I feel like I have a lot to talk about, but I really don't. Just things I am excited for, things I am excited about, and people I love.
I'm glad you and I patched things up. We were never meant to be apart. But I had to rid you from my life. You killed me inside. I forgive you, I truly do, I'm not even that mad at you anymore, just a little bit, I just have no trust for you. But I know it will be built back up soon enough. I've missed you.
Red isn't waiting around for anyone any more. Want to know why? Because she is Very Much Alive.
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