Too Late To Apologize

Maybe tomorrow you will get it right.

To the boy I thought loved me, one last song, this is to you.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fm0T7_SGee4

I found beauty, and love, and friendship today in all the places I had forgotten. All the things I used to love just swept under the rug. I guess thats just what happens with me though, I get preoccupied with one thing, and forget about all the other things in my life. I wish that wouldn't happen. I wish I could find balance.

An old best friend came into my life today, and he made me realize a lot of things. I MISSED HIM to pieces. He kept me sane, and in a good mood. I have hundreds of diary entries about our friendship. The crazy things we used to do. TAPE WARS. He better be prepared. I'm carrying tape with me all the time.

I am also very confused in my life right now. Everything is a blurry mess of everything and nothing at the same time. Im confused about love, about dating, ex's and new possibilities. I don't know what I want to do with my life, and I want to start piano lessons. This whole paragraph does not make sense, but I think Im okay with it, because it's kind of like how my brain is functioning.

I laughed really hard today, but then it made me cry. While sitting in the doctors office my mom turned to me and said:
"Kelsey, please try having a good boyfriend, and if you don't like having a nice boy in your life then go back to those old bad boyfriends of yours."

And its so true. I seem to fall for those who hurt and control me.

Im turning a new leaf though, I am only dating those who treat me well, and with the respect I deserve.

I hope everything goes well for everyone, lately everyone seems to be blue, which is upsetting because Im finally flying high in all the bright colors, and no one else feels that anymore.. I hope I can help them as much as possible, because truely, I love these people with all my heart and I hate seeing them hurting. I just want to be there for them as much as I can.

I don't know what else to say...

Wait I know...

I feel liberated.

And.

Very Much Alive.