Who Are You Now?

Look at this beautiful world.

I do not care what car you drive, where you live, if you know someone who knows someone. If your clothes are this year's cutting edge. If your trust fund is unlimited. If you are A-list or B-list or never heard of you list. I only care about the words that flutter from your mind. They are the only thing that you truly own. The only thing I will remember you by. I will not fall in love with your bones and skin. I will not fall in love with the places you have been. I will not fall in love with anything but the words that flutter from your extraordinary mind.

I live in the clouds. Reality is not for me. People say I should come down, that the clouds are not a place for me to be. I smile at them. Maybe one day, I say. Maybe one day I will come down. But I never will. Reality is not for me. I shall stay up here. The view is quite breathtaking.

You know, sometimes I think I'm crazy. Random things just start spewing from my mouth, or from my brain to my fingertips. Sometimes I just think that other people want to know what it's like to live inside my brain. But then I remember they don't, they don't want to be included in my crazy thoughts.

I think sometimes I secretly love myself, and I don't realize it until someone tell's me that I am worth something. I know deep down inside I am a unique individual who deserves the world. But when I tell myself I deserve only the best, I feel selfish, and then I automatically think I deserve nothing.

I have a bad habit. My doctors tell me I'm the best actress around because I can pretend to be on top of the world, while in reality I want to kill myself, this is why I feel the clouds are a good place for me. Back to the subject, I'm trying hard to break that habit. I'm not going to be afraid to wear my emotions. I'm trying, you have to believe me.

I'm not afraid to live anymore. I'll tell you I love you. I'll tell you I hate you. I'll call you out when you're wrong. I don't care what anyone thinks of me. I'm alive. I have an opinion. I will not be anyone's game. I don't care if you hate me for who I am, because I love myself, and I guess that's all that really matters.