I Put On That Kanye Smile.

My favorite place in the world.

Because no matter how lost you get,

you always stumble on something

beautiful.

I know I've been wrong. I have learned from my mistakes. I've been used, and have used. But my god, I know this is something right. I don't care how many people try to talk me out of it, or tell me it isn't right. I honestly don't care about anyone's opinion. If I have any concerns about my heart, I'll tell you. Don't try to push me away from him, because in the long run it will only push me further away from you.

It doesn't matter what it takes, I will become who I want to be. I'm not afraid to say that I've used people to get farther in life, because in reality, who hasn't? I've hurt people for no reason, and I've been hurt for no reason. Do I regret any of it? No. I wouldn't be who I am today if it wasn't for every single event that has happened in my life. Sure some of them weren't the greatest ideas. And maybe I ended up in more trouble then I would have ever imagined, but I made it through each and every one of them.

I don't like it when people worry for me. I know I'm not the strongest person, but I'm not made of glass. I remember when a doctor asked me why I liked my friends not too long ago. My answer was "because they don't treat me like I was broken, and then put back together with tape. They aren't afraid that I'm going to break with anything they do or say." And it's true. I'm not going to wince at every word. Sometimes I want to forget about my past.

If I skip a meal, or purge, smoke, or drink it is okay. I'm not slipping up as much as I used to. One slip up from me every once in a while is okay. I know when I've had enough. I know when I can't handle it anymore. I know when it's time to quit it.

Sometimes I just want to go away, start over in a new place where no one knows about what a fuck up I was. They wouldn't treat me like I had a "handle with care" sign around my neck. I know I messed up, it doesn't mean I have to be reminded of it every damn day.

I regret leaving some people behind. Maybe some friendships should have never been started. I'm making a step in knowing who is good for me. I know who that is now.

I really do.