You Are The Yellow Bird I've Been Waiting For

The rain has a funny way of smelling like you.

Not all things are meant to be beautiful, some things are awful. It's your job to find the beauty in everything though. Be creative, color outside the lines. Don't make sense. It's okay. It's all okay. Find a lighter shade of blue.

Times are changing.

Everything Was In Slow Motion.

But I am happy.

(Maybe it’s sad that these are now memories. And maybe it’s not sad.)

So, this is my life. And I want you to know that I am both happy and sad and I'm still trying to figure out how that could be.

Please believe that things are good with me, and even when they’re not, they will be soon enough.

All These Fucked Up Things I Did.

I can't help but think.

I've grown so far away from everyone, and I don't know how I feel about it. I wanted that when I graduated. I didn't want anything that reminded me of high school. Now I regret my decision at once again my selfishness.

I read blogs and it makes me sad that I don't know whats happening in the lives of the people who I used to be so close with.

Thats the problem with me, and always will be the problem. I run away at every chance I get.

I was bruised and beat up from high school so I run away from the only people that would pick me up, dust me off, and support me. It doesn't make a whole lot of sense, now does it?

I am a work at progress, and I can deal with that. Or maybe I can't given all the frustrations I blame myself for. All I really know is I am continually changing, and sometimes I don't know if it's for the better or the worst. I always hope that those who are close to me think I'm getting better. That I'm evolving into a good human being.

I know a lot about life and and hardships, but if you asked me about friendships I would tell you I have not a clue.

Cuddles, French Toast, Kisses, and Strawberry Sauce

I like the stories that the mouth can't tell fast enough.

The ears that aren't big enough.

The eyes that can't take in all the change.

I like the hugging, the bringing together, the end of missing someone.

There's really no one else. Because you give me more love than anyone else could even know. Because you make me feel like the most beautiful, the skinniest, the smartest girl in the world. I know I'm not those things, but when I'm with you, I feel like I have the potential to be. I love what you are, and what you do and how you try. I've seen your kindness and your strength that carries you through. I've seen the best of you. I've seen the worst of you. And I understand with perfect clarity exactly what you are. And I love you.

(The thing is, you make me happy. You walked in when it seemed like the rest of the world walked out. You were there. You are there. I never need to pretend when I'm around you, when I'm talking to you, when I'm with you. You're hilarious; you make me laugh all the time. You seem to pick up that something's wrong before everyone else does, and you know exactly what to say to make it all okay, and even if it's only for a little while, it helps. The thing is, I love you. Thank you, for everything.)

I Feel Like I'm The Spark That Lights You Up

Kelsey in wonderland.

Rain hardly falls on me any more. I hardly now feel such simple effects. Please do not forget how to feel. How to react. I'm still safe. I'm still young. I will find things still.

Perhaps I'm not perfect, untouchable. But I feel pretty damn close. I love knowing I can feel euphoric when I barely thought that "content" existed. Its rainbows and stars and everything I've never cared to look at before.

Hello world, it's me.

Maybe They Both Cried That Day

Do something worth dying for, something you love.


It's time to be a grown up. Live in a grown up world, do grown up things. Bull shit. Do what makes you happiest. What does your heart beat for? Whatever it is, follow it. I promise you it will lead you to where you want to be in life, to where the grass is greener. I guess we are who we are for a lot of reasons. And maybe we'll never know most of them. But even if we don't have the power to choose where we come from, we can still choose where we go from there. It’s funny how people get so worked up over the bad things in life, and they never realize just how wonderful the good things are.

I think I think too much. I worry over things that have yet to come, wasting time lingering over the future so much that I miss out on the joys of the present. I need to stop, I need to stop being this over-analytic, paranoid little girl; I need to start to be myself again. Because I'm sick of missing out on the joys of this life worrying over such nonsense - things that may not even ever happen.

Well you're not brave if you still keep the letters and you're not sane if you don't want to get better and you're not drunk if you can stay in your lane. It gets to the point where you might as well do what you want, you're going straight to hell anyway. I look at you and "motherfuckingassholeihopeyoufuckingdie" comes to my mind, not because I hate you, well maybe it is, I just don't know. I am utterly disgusted with the path you trek. As inebriated as you can get off your latest pay check. I am at a loss for words here. I hate to break it to you but being a coward is not a legitimate career.


I love that painting. All the reds and yellows are intersecting like city streets. Everything bounces--the colors, the angles. You almost feel as though you're in motion just by looking at it. That's how I feel when I'm with you. I want you to be a constant. The only magic I still believe in, is love. As we wake up in your room, your face is the first thing I see. The first time I've seen love, and the last I'll ever need. "I wish I knew what to say." I said. "Just love me" was his reply.

"I never play to win," is what she said and poured a little cocaine in my head. She's a fuckin' Picasso in bed. And I'll never fall in love again.'

Sweet Darling

I am strong enough.

I won't leave you.

Things seem especially hard lately. Karma is taking all of my mistakes and throwing them back in my face. Where has all my inspiration gone? There is only one place I want to run to right now, but I can't.

Someone point me in the right direction. I'm feeling lost.

I've ruined everything. A fuck up who can't turn themselves around.